This is from the brand new Mental Shed Blog - Why does my vag smell?
So I'm just sitting here. Writing. Minding my own business. Researching.
When suddenly google takes me on a wrong turn deep into the collective human psyche and the land of things you can never un-know which will only serve to fester in your nervous system until nothing less than complete shutdown occurs.
I'm writing. I have a question I need answered. I move the pointer up into that convenient little Google search box. I get as far as typing "why" when suddenly a drop down box drops down into my personal destiny and forever ruins any hope of a normal life in the future.
After many long years of working online things like tubgirl and goatse and even that video where the guy sticks the glass bottle up his ass until it breaks and blood starts pouring out are just understood as the way of things. It's like the birds flying south for the winter. As natural as the change of seasons.
But the questions google dropped down as possible suggestions to complete my query based on commonly searched phrases...the fact that THESE are the questions plaguing humanity...this is disturbing.
Like...reevaluate your views on the purpose and meaning of life kind of disturbing.
So of course I have to share them with you - the poor soul who probably accidentally stumbled onto this searching for how to give blue balls, pictures of deformed breasts and genitals, japscat, or amputee pornography.
I'm scarred for life. Might as well drag you down with me.
So without further delay, the question most plaguing mankind today is:
Why do men have nipples?
That's right - after all these thousands of years of human existence, we still can't figure out why men have nipples, and apparently it;s bugging the shit out of us.
The questions most commonly searched by humanity are:
Why is the sky blue?
Why is my poop green?
Why does my vag smell?
Why do cats purr?
Why did I get married too?
Why do dogs eat poop?
Why can't I own a Canadian?
And last but not least:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I'm not making this up. You can't fabricate this kind of global ignorance.
Now, I'm not saying I know these answers. As a matter of fact, I too would like to know why my vag smells and why I can't own a Canadian who poops green.
But my point is, with all of this endless information at our fingertips, powered by the massive database of world domination and resources that is Google...don't we have something better to ask?
Does each successive human generation really have to go through the astonishment that men have nipples, which seem to serve no purpose? This is surefire proof that Carl Jung's theory of the collective unconscious is just plain bullshit. Thousands of years, tens of thousands of generations of mankind...and we're still dumbfounded by this nipple thing.
No, the human psyche does not autonomously organize experience.
Jung believed this was why people were instinctively afraid of things. Thousands of years of experienced cataloged in the human subconscious tell us that snakes are poisonous so we should fear them.
But we still don't know why our vag smells? How long have women been dealing with those? Your ancestors didn't leave any notes on this one for you? Nothing about green poop or slavery or dogs eating poop or nipples on men scrawled on your nervous system?
And, of all things, we should be writing this down for all future generations and locked inside every possible time capsule, shot into space, tattooed on babies, whatever needs to be done to preserve this knowledge:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
Because of Darwin's natural selection, that's why.
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